YOU'RE STILL MY MAN

I am ornithophobic.since i was little,i have this abnormality and it's weird.:)) by the way,"Ornithophobia" means fear of birds. :P
I remember one day,,when i was little, was about 5 or 6 years old,my dad used to have chickens in our backyard.One day he asked for my help while i was playing with my cousins,one hen got out of its cage,and he needed to get it back of it.Though i'm so scared,i said okay.As a child,i always want to be the "bida".So he chased the hen,i was standing near the cage ,shaking and nervous,he let me hold the hen while he was fixing the cage.I was then crying,and shaking,i can still picture myself ,very little and holding a fat black hen with my little hands.The whole time i was crying,shaking and looking at my dad,as if i was begging him to take the hen from me.He would just look at me,and will shout at me"saglit lang!" so even though i was so scared,i can't let go of the hen.I was so scared that he would hit me on my butt. :))And so it was done.He got the hen,and let me play again.that was 11 years ago..

my dad and i had a small chat while we were watching tv...

"takot ka pa rin hanggang ngayon sa mga ibon?"
"oo,sobra parin,lalo na sa itik"
"kasalanan ko yun eh"
"bakit?"
"naalala mo dati,yung matabang manok na pinahawakan ko sa'yo?"
"ahh,, oo sobrang laki nun,parang pabo na nga eh"
"nakakaawa ka noon ehh,kita ko talagang namumutla ka na,tsaka nanginginig,ehh hindi mo naman mabitawan kasi,takot ka rin saken"
"haha! panu ko ba naman mabibitawan,eh sumisigaw ka na"
"akala ko kasi,mawala ang takot mo,pag tapos nun,di rin pala"...

and those words made me smile,,so that was his purpose.To make me overcome my phobia..I thought it was just a punishment for playing too much instead of sleeping in the afternoon... :))

So i grew up being a daddy's girl,he was always there for me,my secret buddy,my spiritual adviser,my best friend.He knows when i'm down,and we'll eat ice cream 'til i stop frowning and smile.He taught me how to drive not like a pussy,but to drive like him.I remember how pissed i am when he shouts at me."i-overtake mo yun" i'll say,"may kasalubong tayo",he will shout at me,"aabot yan,overtake!".I'll paddle to the gas till i pass every car that i see,with my heart beating so fast and hands so cold on the steering wheel.

6 am -that was a monday,LTO
I'm getting my license.My dad with me(ofcourse).
After filling up all the papers,I wasn't prepared to drive an owner type jeep for the actualization!
The last time i drive was like a 2 months ago,i don't know if i still know how to drive haha!
So,i told my dad..

"daddy,magda-drive daw ng owner ehh"
"ikaw,ayaw mo na ba?uwi na lang tayo?"
"ayaw,sige..kaya ko yan"

I got back to my sit,and he raised his thumb,mouthing words"kaya mo yan."
It was my turn. I look around and i didn't see him.Anyways while i was inside the jeep,i told my self "come-on,ilang oras kami naghintay dito,si daddy,naiinip na,di pwedeng masayang yung lakad namin"
And i did it. =] i looked for my dad,and he gave me a high five.I was so happy, can't stop smiling,o-m-g.i'm gonna cry,but i didn't (that's stupid,) HAHA! i'm overeacting now, i know that's an easy thing to do :))
But what made me happy,was seeing my dad so excited as if he was a child getting a new toy.He joked about buying a D'max ,Isuzu pick up that we both love..i said"sus..stirr" and we both laughed.At that moment,i discovered my happines,,and that is making him happy and proud.
He would always give me what i want,even at the moments that i dont deserve it at all.He would always make me happy,while at times i dissapoint him.At that moment i've
come to realize that my happiness was to be the daughter that he deserves.Yes,i'm a spoiled rotten,I'm not the "Catherine the great" that i always wanted to be,but with my dad, i feel like it. I'm a daddy's girl,and i know my mom hates me for being such,but i love my dad,not because would always buy me new stuffs,not because he would give me money to fool around with,not because he would give the food that i crave for,not because he would let me hold the remote control and make him watch fashion tv,but because i love him.just him.

years will pass,I will have my own family.I'm will have my husband,but one thing's for sure.No one can ever love me the way he do :)He would criticize me,he would say i'm terrible,when i truly am,and would always try to make me stronger.He would always support me in all my ambitions,but always make me see the reality.He would scold me when i did something stupid,but cradle me when i am down.

I'm growing up,and he's getting older.If there's a long term goal that i should accomplsih,it is to make him happy and fulflilled for the rest of his life and show him,that there he molded me into a beautiful soul. =]